Waiting

Wait v.i. 1. To stay in expectation, as of an anticipated action or event 2. To be or remain in readiness

Waiting. This is what I have been doing for the last 11 months. I have never considered myself to be a very patient person, perhaps that is a trait I'm supposed to learn during this waiting period. I find this definition, of wait, to fit the last 11 months of my life. Right about 11 months ago, we signed a contract with Life Time Adoption. And every day since then, I've thought, I wonder if we'll get a call today. I'll admit there have been a couple of days when I thought, We'll probably get the call today, since I'm sick and can't get out of bed, or since all our childcare options are out of town. But mostly, I've just been anticipating an event that I don't know the date of and trying to remain ready for that event. This anticipating and trying to remain ready can make a person crazy! I am thankful that I have 3 children who help distract me somewhat. I admire people who adopt more than once. I've found myself saying in the last week or so, I don't EVER want to do this again. Then again, I never would have thought I would do it once.

Some of you know, that last weekend a last minute possible adoption situation came our way. It all seemed like God's timing. We found out about this birth mother on Thursday and on Friday morning she went into labor. She was from the area, so it was convenient, in that Randy and I would not have to be out of state for a couple of weeks. My parents were in town visiting and we were able to take off right away to the hospital without having to arrange childcare. It just seemed like God had orchestrated it all. But, after waiting at the hospital for 6 hours, the birth parents changed their minds and decided to keep their baby. Was it disappointing? Very. Was it emotionally stressful? Yes. Were we angry? No. The birth mother wanted to keep the baby all along, but the father had said, me or the baby. It was kind of a messy and confusing relationship. I'm glad the mother decided to keep her baby. Who knows how long the father will be around and if she gave the baby up, then she wouldn't have either of them. So, what was the point of it all? I have no idea. Maybe there wasn't one. It was an emotional, confusing and depressing weekend. Not necessarily because we didn't get that baby, but because we were back to.....waiting.